JAMES: FAITHFUL SON AND SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS MAN....WORKS AS ACCOUNTANT. DRESSED IN SUIT, CARRYING BRIEFCASE.

DAD: ELDERLY GENTLEMEN, GLASSES, DRESSED IN SLACKS AND A SWEATER.

JESSE: DRESSED JEANS AND T-SHIRT, PAIR OF HANDCUFFS IN BACK POCKET.

PROPS: COUCH, COFFEE TABLE WITH PARTY FOOD AND CAKE, 3 PLATES, 3 FORKS, 1 KNIFE,   POSTER WITH A PICTURE OF A TRAIN THAT SAYS "WELCOME HOME SON!", DOORBELL, HANDCUFFS, BRIEFCASE.

Scene opens with Dad sitting on the couch arranging food on the coffee table. Moves cake to the center of the table and moves other foods around it. Hums to himself.

James - (enters) Hi, Dad...I’m home.

Dad - (gets up, walks over to James and takes his briefcase) Hi, James. How was your day?

James - Lousy, Dad. Tax season is here and I’m going crazy. If one more crackpot tries to deduct his dog on his taxes, I’m going to hurt someone!

Dad - (laughs) It can’t be easy being an Accountant son...hang in there. You’ll get through it...you always do.

James - I know, Dad...but I really hate tax season. There’s more work than one person can handle.

Dad - Maybe you should think about taking on a partner, James.

James - I just might have to do that.

Dad - (puts down briefcase) Come on over here, son. I want to talk to you.

James - (looks around the room for the first time and notices the decorations and the food) Are we having a party?

Dad - We sure are!

James - (laughs) Don’t tell me Aunt Mildred finally decided to fess up and tell her real age. I know, we’re having her 100th birthday party, right?

Dad - (laughs) No, it’s not Aunt Mildred’s birthday.

Dad and James sit down on the couch.

James - (looks at all the food, sticks his finger in the frosting on the cake, licks his finger) So, what’s the big occasion?

Dad - I have some great news son...your brother has finally been paroled.

James - I can’t believe the luck of that guy. The Judge sentenced him to 5 years in jail, and he’s getting out already?

Dad - I know, son. Isn’t it great?

James - Great? I don’t think so. Why did they let him out so early?

Dad - They let him out for good behavior...besides the prison was really over crowded.

James - (gets up and wanders around the room, sees welcome home sign stuck down beside the couch and picks it up) Welcome home Jesse! Oh, that’s great...you painted a picture of a little train on the sign...that’s appropriate.

Dad - Don’t be sarcastic, James.

James - (puts the sign back down on the floor next to the couch) I just can’t believe that anybody dumb enough to rob a train in this day and age deserves to get out of prison.

Dad - Well, it’s not like he murdered anyone.

James - That’s true. He just hopped a train headed for Baltimore and went up and down the aisles demanding that people hand over their money.

Dad - I’m pretty sure he watched too many cowboy movies when he was a kid.

James - The sick thing is, people actually gave him their wallets. One woman even gave him her diamond ring.

Dad - I know, James. I was there for the trial, remember?

James - How could I forget.

Doorbell rings.

Dad - That must be Jesse. Be nice, James.

Dad rushes over to the door and opens it. Jesse is standing there. Dad hauls him onstage and hugs him.

Dad - I’ve missed you son!

Jesse - Thanks, Dad. I missed you too.

Jesse - Hi, James...long time no see.

(James glares at Jesse)

Jesse - (laughs) Not long enough, huh?

Jesse - (looks at all the party stuff and grins) This is great, Dad. A real welcome home party.

Dad - Come on boys, let’s eat. (Dad sits down on couch with James on one side of him and Jesse on the other)

Dad - Jesse, you’re the guest of honor...you cut the cake!

James - (reaches down beside the couch and pulls out the welcome home sign) Dad made this for you, Jesse.

Jesse - (Jesse stops cutting the cake and looks at the sign) Wow, Dad. That’s really cool. It’s got a train on it and everything. (hugs his father). Thanks, Dad.

James - (rolls his eyes and puts sign back on floor, leaning against the couch) Cut the cake, Jesse.

Jesse - (cuts cake, puts a slice on a plate and hands it to James) Here you go, Chubby. A nice big piece of cake! Eat up.

James - Don’t call me Chubby...I haven’t been overweight since I was a kid.

Jesse - Hey, I was just making a little joke.

Dad - Knock it off you two. Let’s just try to enjoy the party, Ok?

Jesse - (cuts another slice of cake and hands it to his father) Anything you say, Dad.

Jesse - Hey, Dad... you want to see something really great?

Dad - Sure, son.

Jesse - (reaches in back pocket and pulls out a pair of handcuffs) Look what they gave me when I left prison...the actual handcuffs they used when they arrested me!

James - They give out souvenirs at prison now?

Jesse - No, they gave them to me as a reminder...

James - What kind of reminder?

Jesse - A reminder that I don’t have to go back to jail...I’ve been rehabilitated.

James - What do you mean?

Jesse - I didn’t waste my time in prison, you know. I took a bunch of classes while I was in there.

Dad - That’s wonderful son...I’m so proud of you!

James - What kind of classes, Jesse?

Jesse - (looks sheepish) Enough talk! Let’s eat!

Jesse - This is great cake, Dad. Did you bake it yourself?

Dad - No, I got it from that little bakery around the corner.

Jesse - Does Debbie still work there?

Dad - She sure does. In fact, she gave me her phone number when she heard you were coming home. She wants you to call her. (hands Jesse a small piece of paper)

 Jesse - (takes paper, puts it in his pocket and grins) Cake and Debbie’s phone number. What a great homecoming!

James - (puts his plate down, fold his arms over his chest and looks at Jesse) I’m still waiting to hear what kind of classes you took while you were in prison.

Jesse - (ignores him) You know what Dad...the warden said he had high hopes for me. He said, I was a hard worker and I showed genuine remorse for my crime...that’s why I got out early. I’m a new man, Dad. I’ve learned my lesson.

Dad - I’m proud of you, Son. It takes a big man to admit when he’s been wrong.

Jesse - Thanks, Dad. I won’t let you down again!

Dad - I know you won’t, Son.

James - Oh, that's just great.  Jesse gets locked up, takes a few classes and you're proud of him...what about me?

Dad - I've always been proud of you, James.

James - And while we're on the subject...I would love to know what classes you took in prison...Lock Picking 101?  Safe Cracking for fun and profit? 

Jesse - (laughs)  Ok...I wanted it to be a surprise, but I guess I'll have to tell you.

James - I have a feeling I'm not going to like this.

Jesse - Dad, James, I want you to know that I graduated at the head of my class...I now have an Associates Degree in Accounting!

James - Oh, no. (puts his head in his hands)

Jesse - I passed every class. In fact, I got straight A’s!

Dad - That's great, Jesse...now, both my boys are College Graduates!

James - You're kidding...please, tell me you're kidding.

Jesse - (takes a big bite of cake, chews a minute and swallows) You know, James...I figure we could go into business together.

James - I suppose you think we would be partners.

Jesse - (grins) Sure...that’s a great idea.

James - (shakes his head in disbelief) Ok, I’ll play along with this little fantasy of yours. If we did go into business together, what would we call our company?

Jesse - I can see it now.. a big sign over the front door...Jesse James Accounting Services - You can trust us not to rob you blind!

James - I'd rather take up train robbing...after all, how bad could prison be?

Dad and Jesse laugh.