GREAT AUNT ETHEL'S ROTTEN ROSE

Synopsis:  Margaret and Jim are planning to spend the day gardening.   Jim wants to plant more petunias, but Margaret has a more important job for him.   Great Aunt Ethel's prize rose bush hasn't bloomed in years and Margaret is determined to cut it down and turn it into mulch.

NUMBER OF CHARACTERS: 2
JIM AND MARGARET

LUKE 13: 6 - 9
THE PARABLE OF THE BARREN FIG TREE

PROPS:  GARDENING TOOLS, (PRUNING SHEARS AND SHOVEL), POTTED PLANTS, CLAY POTS FILLED WITH SILK FLOWERS, ONE CLAY POT FILLED WITH PINK SILK FLOWERS, LAWN CHAIR.

SCRIPT

Scene opens with Jim sitting in a lawn chair enjoying a relaxing Saturday afternoon.   Enter Margaret carrying shovel and pruning shears.

Jim - (sits up in lawn chair and looks at Margaret)  Why, Margaret...you look absolutely lovely!  Are you planning to go on a Safari?

Margaret - You like my outfit?

Jim - Yes, you look like you're ready to hunt for big game!

Margaret - No, but I am hunting for weeds.

Jim - At least you're not armed.

Margaret - Yes, I am.  I'm armed with pruning shears (clicks the shears at him)

Jim - Have a good time, Dear.

Margaret - Don't tell me you've forgotten?

Jim - Forgotten what?  Am I going on Safari too...I'll have to change my clothes first. (settles back in lawn chair and closes eyes as if about to take a nap)

Margaret - You did forget...this is the day you promised to help me with the gardening!

Jim - (opens one eye) Ohhhh, I thought that was next Saturday.

Margaret - No Jim...it's today!  Come on, up and at 'em!

Jim - (stands at attention, faces Margaret and salutes) Faithful husband reporting for duty, Ma'am. What are you orders?

Margaret - (laughs and looks around the garden)  This garden is such a mess, I don't know where to begin.

Jim - I think it looks kind of nice.  Let's start with those pink things (points to pot of pink flowers).  I like those.

Margaret - (looks to where he's pointing)  You mean the petunias?

Jim - Is that what they're called?

Margaret - Yes dear, and we don't need to do anything with those.  They're fine.

Jim - Let's plant some more petunias...I like those.

Margaret - I know dear.  You say that every year...that's why I plant them.

Jim - Well, if there's nothing wrong with the petunias, I guess we're done for the day.  (starts to sit in lawn chair)

Margaret - Oh, no.  We're not finished yet..we need to pull weeds, prune bushes and...

Jim (groans)

Margaret - See that plant over in the corner.  (Jim looks over at the plant)

Jim - Yeah, what is it?

Margaret - That's Great Aunt Ethel's rose bush.

Jim - Really?  Are you sure it's a rose?  It doesn't have any flowers.

Margaret - My point exactly.

Jim - Huh?

Margaret - I've waited years for that rotten rose to bloom and it's never had one single flower!

Jim - That's not good.

Margaret - You're darn right it's not.  That's why you're going to dig it up! (hands him a shovel)

Jim - Are you sure you want to dig it up?

Margaret - What else can I do, it's just wasting space as this point.

Jim - (walks over to rose bush) What color flowers is it supposed to have?

Margaret - I remember when I was a kid, I used to love to go to Great Aunt Ethel's house.  She had the most beautiful flowers.  This rose bush was her pride and joy.  It was covered in big red roses that smelled wonderful.

Jim - (leans on shovel) So how did it get from Aunt Ethel's house to our back yard?

Margaret - She gave it to me when we first got married.  She wanted me to have something special in my first garden...we've had it ever since.

Jim - Has it ever bloomed?

Margaret - No, and every summer I looked forward to seeing it bloom and every year I was disappointed.  I guess I finally just gave up. (sighs)

Margaret - We might as well get on with it.

Jim - (starts to dig)

Margaret - (sounds depressed ) No, wait a minute.  Let's not dig it up.  Let's cut it down. (clicks the pruning shears)  At least we could make mulch out of it.

Jim - (gently takes the pruning shears away from Margaret)  This is really upsetting you isn't it?

Margaret - Maybe I'm just being sentimental, but I hate to see it go.

Jim - Well, let's give it one more chance.  Why don't we go to the garden store and talk to an expert.  Maybe there's something we can do to make it bloom.

Margaret - That's a good idea!

Jim - Sure, maybe all it needs is more fertilizer...

Margaret - Or less fertilizer...

Jim - Or more sun...

Margaret - Or less sun...

Margaret and Jim start to walk away from the rose bush.

Jim - Hey, Margaret.  I just had a great idea!

Margaret - What, Jim?

Jim -  While we're at the garden center, maybe we could buy some more of those pink flowers! What did you say they were again?

Margaret - (smiles) Petunias, Dear.  They're called petunias.

Jim - (puts his arm around Margaret's shoulders) Yeah, let's get some more of those!

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