NUMBER OF CHARACTERS - 5
SCRIPTURE REFERENCE: ACTS 20:35
CAST OF CHARACTERS
CHARACTER - JEROME - HEAD OF THE GARAGE SALE COMMITTEE
CHARACTER - LYDIA - HEAD OF THE DRAMA MINISTRY
CHARACTER - SYLVIA - HEAD OF THE MUSIC MINISTRY
CHARACTER - ROGER - HEAD OF THE YOUTH MINISTRY
CHARACTER - BOB - A VOLUNTEER
PROPS: TABLE, 5 CHAIRS, 2 PADS OF PAPER, 2 PENS, 2 CALCULATORS, BAG OF MONEY,
SEVERAL STUFFED ANIMALS, 2 BIG BOXES, SEVERAL POTS AND PANS.
SCRIPT
Enter Jerome and Bob. Jerome is carrying a bag of money and two
calculators.
Jerome - Come on in and have a seat, Bob. (Puts money and calculators on
table). You and I will be counting the proceeds from today's Garage Sale. (Rubs his
hands together gleefully).
Bob and Jerome sit down at table.
Jerome - (Pats Bob on the back) You're new to this committee, Bob.
So, let me explain to you how this process works.
Bob - I think that would be a really good idea (looks confused).
Jerome - (Picks up bag of money and dumps contents onto center of the table.
Pushes half the money towards Bob.) All you have to do is count the money and total it on
this calculator. (Hands Bob a calculator.) Simple, right?
Bob - If you say so.
Jerome - Ok, let's get started. (Picks up a pile of money and starts quickly
pushing buttons on calculator. Bob does the same thing only at a slower pace).
Enter Roger carrying several stuffed animals.
Roger - Hey, Jerome. We have a bunch of stuffed animals left over. (Drops
them into a box in the corner. Turns around and looks at Jerome). Do you think I
should put them in the Church Nursery?
Jerome - I don't think so, Roger. We have enough toys in that Nursery to
open our own Toys R Us!
Roger - Yeah, that's true. So what should I do with them?
Jerome - Just toss them in the dumpster out back.
Bob - (looks at Jerome in surprise.) You're just going to throw them
away?
Jerome - (pushing buttons on calculator while he talks) Sure. That's what
we do with all the left over stuff from the Garage Sale.
Bob - But, there's a women's shelter down the street. I'm sure there are
kids there who would love to have those toys.
Jerome - (Sighs) That would be too confusing Bob. The paperwork alone
would take weeks. One charity donating to another charity...the IRS would have field
day with that one. No, it's better if we just toss them.
Bob - (looks disappointed and goes back to his calculator).
Enter Sylvia carrying an armload of pots and pans.
Sylvia - This has to be the best Garage Sale we have ever had. We
couldn't take their money fast enough! I am exhausted. (dumps the pots and
pans in a box in the corner with a crash).
Jerome - (looks at Sylvia) Sylvia, please! I am trying to concentrate.
Sylvia - (hands on hips) Well, excuuuuuuse, me!
Jerome - I'm sorry I snapped at you Sylvia, but why didn't you take those
directly to the dumpster. You know it's standard procedure to put the Garage Sale
leftovers in the trash.
Sylvia - Oops. I forgot. I'll take them out to the dumpster right
away! (Struggles to pick up box of pots and pans.)
Bob - But, there's a soup kitchen downtown that could probable use those pots
and pans.
Jerome - Don't start, Bob. I have already explained this to you once. I
don't want to have to repeat myself!
Bob goes back to his calculator.
Enter Lydia.
Lydia - Sylvia, don't tell me you are still lugging around those pots and pans.
Sylvia - Yes, I'm on my way to the dumpster. Could you help me carry this
box?
Lydia - Sure, I'd be happy to. (Picks up one end of box while Sylvia picks up
the other. Both exit stage)
Enter Roger.
Roger - (Walks over to the table and sits down next to Jerome.) So, any
news on the total yet?
Jerome - Not yet, but we are almost finished.
Enter Lydia - (Dusts of her hands and smoothes her clothes. Sits down at
table next to Bob. Pats her hair). I hope you're almost finished counting the
money. I know exactly how that money should be spent and I can't wait to tell you.
Roger - Hold on a minute, Lydia. The Youth Ministry has big plans for
that money.
Enter Sylvia
Sylvia - (Rushes over and sits next to Lydia). Oh no you don't...the
Music Ministry takes preference here.
Lydia - Don't be silly, Sylvia. The Drama Ministry has needs that just
can't wait.
Bob and Jerome finish counting the money and Bob sits back in his chair.
Jerome - (Stands up) Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention,
please. I have the final total from today's Garage Sale!
Roger, Lydia and Sylvia turn in unison to look at Jerome. All lean towards
Jerome in unison.
Jerome - May I have a drum roll please.
Roger, Lydia and Sylvia play a drum roll on the edge of the table.
Jerome - The grand total is....(pauses for effect) $4,222.05.
Roger, Lydia and Sylvia clap and cheer. Jerome sits back down and Bob watches
cautiously.
Jerome - Now all we have to do is decide how we are going to spend this money.
Roger - A laptop for the Youth Ministry!
Sylvia - New Choir Robes!
Lydia - New wireless Mics for the Drama Ministry!
Sylvia - (Looks at Roger) A laptop computer for the Youth Ministry?
Have you lost your mind?
Roger - (defensively) Well, I think it's absolutely essential for the kids to
be able to email their parents while they are on retreats.
Lydia - (laughs) Come on Roger....you know you just want to be able to play
Jeopardy online while you're on retreats with those kids. We all know how much you
looooove Jeopardy!
Sylvia - Well, that's no more ridiculous than new mics for the drama team.
Don't you already have wireless mics?
Lydia - (Looks sheepish) Well, yes...but they certainly aren't state-of-the-art
by any means.
Sylvia - Well it's not like you're producing Shakespeare plays on Broadway.
Roger - Well, now that you mention it...the Music Ministry isn't exactly the
Mormon Tabernacle Choir either...Your choir robes are only two years old!
Sylvia - That's true...but the robes are a tacky shade of royal blue. We
would like robes with more dignity...something in a deep purple, I think.
Roger and Lydia laugh.
Bob - I have a suggestion.
Jerome - Okay, Bob. Let's hear it.
Jerome, Roger, Lydia and Sylvia lean heads on hands in unison and stare at Bob.
Bob - Well, it seems to me that you don't really need any of the things you
have suggested.
Roger, Sylvia and Lydia suck in their breath all at once at look horrified.
Bob - (With courage) We all know the church needs a new roof. Why
can't we just donate this money to the building fund?
Jerome - (sighs) Bob, the Building Fund Committee has their own fund
raisers. In fact, they will be sponsoring a car wash next week. I suggest we
all make plans to stop by and get our cars washed whether they are dirty or not.
Roger, Lydia and Sylvia - Nod in unison - Good idea!
Jerome - However, it's out of the question for this committee to donate money
to the building fund. The proceeds from the Garage Sale are strictly reserved for
the use of the Youth, Choir and Drama Ministries.
Bob - But, that doesn't make any sense.
Jerome - As chairman of this committee, I have decided that since we made so
much money this year, we will....
All lean towards Jerome with hopeful expressions
Jerome - Get Roger his laptop...as long as it is second-hand.
Roger - (very happy) All right!
Jerome - Also, I agree with Sylvia. The choirs robes are very tacky and
we should invest in new ones...as long as we can get them wholesale.
Sylvia looks smug and Lydia looks disappointed.
Jerome - And Lydia, your Drama team certainly deserves state-of-the-art
equipment. We should definitely invest in a few new cordless mics.
Roger, Sylvia and Lydia congratulate each other. Bob looks disgusted.
Jerome - (stands up) This meeting is officially adjourned. Good job
everyone! Let's all go home and get some well deserved rest.
Jerome, Lydia, Roger and Sylvia all exit. Bob shakes his head and puts
his head in his hands.
(fade to black)
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